So you guys remember when I told you how I spent my Friday night indulging in THIS…
Well, I lied.
I didn’t just indulge…I devoured.
And by devour, I mean that Jay and I finished off 1/3 of the cake…
With ice cream on the side. Yeah, you could say we really put a hurtin’ on that cake.
And remember those Pretzel M&M’s I was snacking on yesterday?
Well between the two of us, there’s probably less than 15 M&M’s left…out of the entire bag.
So after going to bed last night feeling a little less-than-pleased with my monstrous binges as of late, I got to thinking a little bit more about some things that have been floating around in my head.
Over the past year, it’s safe to say that my eating habits have definitely changed.
Where I was once too paranoid over the calories and fat-content to thoroughly enjoy a cookie, I now have no problem eating 4 or 5 in one sitting.
Where I once would only drink Michelob Ultra beer because it was the lowest choice in calories, I’ll now imbibe in a bunch of varieties and flavors, regardless of their calorie count.
When going out for dinner, my selections used to be narrowed to whatever was not fried, breaded, or loaded with cream sauce or cheese…this clearly is no longer the case.
One might say that this is a feat; that I have moved beyond my old insecurities and can now enjoy these indulgences without guilt. Yes, maybe that’s the case, but I think there’s more going on here:
I am happy and I have gotten comfortable.
And that’s not to say that “comfortable” is a bad thing, because it certainly is not. I do know many people who say that they “fell victim” to the comforts of married life and developed unhealthy habits. And in certain instances, I think this may have happened to me, but not because I’m “married” – it’s because I’m in an incredibly happy place.
I am beyond ecstatic to know that I have a loving, supportive family, a full-time job, and some of the best friends around; but most importantly, I have a wonderful husband to come home to every day, who takes care of me and loves me for me.
He loved me when I was 15,
He loved me when I didn’t quite love myself enough to take care of my body,
And he loves me now.
So then what’s the issue?
Well, because I think it’s about time I give myself a friendly reminder:
Just because I’m happy and comfortable, does not give me free reign to throw caution to the wind.
As much as I’d like to say that polishing off 1/3 of a cake with the hubby made me happy (which, trust me, I reveled in every last bite of it), unfortunately my waistline eventually isn’t going to agree.
And sure, I know it’s not all about that; so what if I gain a couple LB’s? Heck, I already have, and I’m ok with that.
But if I let myself go too crazy, those couple LB’s are going to keep creeping up; I’m not going to be comfortable in my own skin, and then regret will follow.
I think everyone knows when they start to reach that point of uncomfortable; maybe it’s just a feeling you have, when you know you’ve had a few too many treats lately. Or maybe it’s when those jeans all of a sudden get a little more difficult to button up.
For me, it’s a mixture of both, and lately, they’ve come back with a vengeance. The willpower that was once stronger than it should have been, is now replaced with a flurry of thoughts and emotions as I go to grab for that extra cookie or scoop of peanut butter:
“I really don’t need another one.”
“But one more won’t hurt me."
“Jay just had another cookie, so I can too.”
“It’s ok, I worked out this morning.”
“Tomorrow is a new day.”
“Well, my pants were kinda tight this morning…”
“I just read a blog post by somebody else who ate this much in one sitting, why can’t I?”
So what am I going to do about it?
Well for one, I’m not going to start any crazy nonsense of calling anything off limits. Once I do that, I only crave it more. (I could declare OLIVES off limits, which I HATE, and would probably crave them immediately…that’s just how I work).
To be honest, I don’t think I’m really going to change a whole lot. But what I am going to do, is try to bring back some of that willpower that I let fade away. Because if I continue using the “I’m happy,” “I’m comfortable,” and “She did, so I can too” excuses, eventually it’s going to catch up to me.
And I’m no dummy…the holidays are right around the corner, and I’m going to be faced with lots of delicious goodies.
I can’t pass them up, so I won’t; but I can make healthier decisions by eating one or two, rather than five or six.
I think it’s good to give ourselves a little reality check every once in a while; it helps put things into perspective. I know I’m still healthy; I workout 5-6 days a week, I eat lots of whole foods, and my eating habits aren’t terrible by any means…but I know they could be better. There’s always room for improvement, right? Because in the end, nobody can
be held accountable but me.
Putting all this out there really helped solidify everything that I’ve been feeling these past couple weeks, and I already feel so much better after having it down in words.
Yes, I’m happy.
Yes, I’m healthy.
Yes, I’m “comfortable,” but in the best way possible.
I’m responsible for me.
And I’m going to take care of myself…without depriving…and without scarfing down 1/3 of a cake in one sitting.
Hopefully you can all somehow relate to my ramblings of a post today…if you can, I’d love to know that I’m not alone.
What do you do when it’s time to give yourself a reality check?