Here we are, two months in with two kiddos. And let me tell you…a LOT has changed since Alex’s one month update!
In Alex’s last update post, I made it no secret that things had been hard. I was having an incredibly tough time adjusting to having a needy toddler and a newborn who basically cried all day unless he was being held. This continued up until he was about six weeks old, and honestly, I felt like I was reaching my breaking point.
Everything just felt tense and I wound up arguing with Jay on more than one occasion. Truth was, I was finding myself extremely envious of the fact that he was able to get up and leave the house everyday to go to work, just like everything used to be. I felt like very little changed for him, yet here I was with my world completely rocked and turned upside down. There were days when all I wanted to do was just bolt out the door immediately after he came home so I could just have a little reprieve. But when you’re nursing (sometimes every 1-2 hours at that point), that’s not really all that possible.
There were many days where I found myself looking down and saying “thank goodness you’re cute” to this little face in those few weeks.
Then, it was right on Lucas’s birthday when something changed. It was like Alex finally realized that being in the real world wasn’t all that bad and he became a totally different baby. The timing was impeccable (partly because it was Lucas’s birthday and we had planned on being out for the morning with him), and from then on, things have definitely been easier.
That isn’t to say everything has been easy though; we certainly have our struggles and challenges. But the fact that we can make it through most days with minimal crying (unless we’re in the car…ay yi yi) is a truly wonderful thing!
So now, here’s a little bit more about our chunkamonk!
Weight & Height
At his appointment last week, he was up to 13lbs 3oz and measured 24.5 inches long, putting him in the 90th percentile all around. All of the nurses were loving on him and everyone assured me that it looked like he was a good eater…which he is!
Eating
During the day, Alex will nurse about every 2 to 4 hours, depending on where his naps fall. He’s still a very efficient eater and we’re usually done with our nursing sessions in about 10-15 minutes.
Even still, at about 6 weeks, I was getting to the point where I wanted to give up breastfeeding all together. Alex was miserable, I was miserable, Lucas was miserable. I just felt like it was one more thing I was worried about, and I had convinced myself that it was something I was eating that was causing Alex to be so fussy. I also introduced the Gerber Soothe Colic Drops to see if they would help, after seeing so many of you recommend them and looking into them a bit more. I’m not sure if it was timing or what, but we definitely saw an improvement in him after taking the drops for a few days.
So at about the same time I wanted to give up nursing, we decided to introduce one bottle of formula a day, around 6pm. He never seemed quite satisfied in the evening and always wanted to be eating. It was really becoming a struggle for him and me, and I felt like I never had enough to offer him, so to speak. So Jay and I talked about it and we decided to try introducing the bottle of formula to see how he’d do. Since then, most of our evenings have improved SO much! We’re using Enfamil Gentlease and he has tolerated it very well with no issues.
I hesitated a bit since I didn’t introduce formula to supplement with Lucas until much later (I’ve never had an overly abundant milk supply) and felt guilty about it. But I quickly realized I was putting just wayyyy too much pressure on myself and needed to do what was best for all of us. Since then, it has felt like a weight has been lifted!
Now I don’t have to worry if I need to be gone for some reason (which has yet to happen, but still) and we don’t have any extra milk on hand. And honestly, if it works out where we wind up needing to introduce another formula bottle during the day at some point sooner rather than later, I’m totally okay with it. As long as he’s happy and healthy (and I’m staying sane), that’s what matters.
Sleeping (naps)
I still try to loosely follow the schedule from Moms on Call, but mostly focus on sticking with an eat/play/sleep routine and making sure that his awake times during the day are somewhere between 60-90 minutes. I had completely forgotten about this with Lucas, but he was the same way, and as long as we get him down for a nap within that window of time, he tends to sleep so much better. For the last week or so, he usually takes about a 1 to 1-1/2 hour nap in the morning, a 2-1/2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon (at the same time as Lucas…hallelujah!) and a very short cat nap (maybe 30-40 minutes?) in the evening (although naps today as I’m typing up this update are definitely not going too well…ha!). We do some naps in the crib and some in the rock n play.
Sleeping (at night)
Around 7-1/2 weeks, I adjusted Alex’s bedtime from about 9pm to be closer to 7:30pm. That evening time had been getting fairly fussy for him, so I figured it’d be best for all of us to get him down sooner. So now, Alex usually gets his bedtime feeding anywhere between 7 and 7:15pm and is down for bed in his crib and swaddled around 7:30-7:45pm. For a couple of weeks, he’d been waking up anywhere between 5-6am to eat, and then went back down until about 9-10am. For the past week or so, he sleeps from about 8:30pm – 7:45am, which is amazing, but has struggled a little in the first 30-60 minutes of going down at night. Overall, he’s really great with sleeping at night, so we’re super thankful for that (since we know it could change at any time!).
Clothing
Mostly 3 month and 3-6 month outfits, although he has some sleepers that are size 6 month that fit him pretty well (some of his 3 month sleepers are getting short already?!). He’s also in size 1 diapers, but I feel like size 2 may not be too far away.
Likes
Eating, cooing, smiling, baths (a big change from last month!), his playmat, his piano, his swing, his big brother (it’s so sweet)
Dislikes
Being overtired, tummy time for longer than about 2 minutes, most car rides, taking a paci (ohhhh, how I wish he’d at least take one in the car!)
How’s mom doing?
I think I pretty much covered a lot of it above but, thankfully, I’m feeling better. At my six week check up appointment, as soon as my doctor (who I LOVE) asked how I was doing, I immediately broke down in tears (all while Alex was in the room with me…crying). She kindly offered to have the nurses take him while we could chat, and she really did make me feel a lot better about things.
I still have days where I’m more emotional or sad than others. Sometimes I find myself feeling very alone and craving more of the outside world; I take blame for this, since it’s not like we’re locked inside the house or anything. But I’m still working on finding the balance with being out in public with a (potty training) toddler full of energy and an infant who does 100x better when he’s home and in his routine, as opposed to being out in the car/car seat/etc. I know I’ll get there, it’ll just take some more time.
Physically, it was probably around the 5 week mark when I started to feel like I didn’t need to take pain meds every day and felt much more normal. I wouldn’t say everything feels 100% just yet (I actually have incredibly sore hips these days) and I honestly doubt if it ever will?
In terms of weight, I’m probably about 7 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, but I also held on to a few extra pounds until I stopped nursing Lucas too, so who knows. I am back to exercising regularly which feels great, but it’s not like I’m really doing anything to worry about losing any weight right now (I’m lookin’ at you, ice cream) because it’s not a top priority. My exercise is my sanity saver many days!
Overall, I feel like I’ve got an okay grip on things and we’re still just very much in an adjustment period. I know it will only get easier as time goes on, so I’m just trying to give myself grace and take the tough moments/days one at a time. Fellow mamas out there, I’m sure you know what I mean?
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Well I think that covers just about everything. Whew, these are long! Thanks for stickin’ with me, if you’re still reading.
*And just for fun, here’s a look at Lucas’s 2 month update; Alex already has about a pound and a half on his big brother at this point!
Brynn says
I remember the feeling of envy when my husband would leave for work and I was at home with a newborn. The transition can be so challenging. So glad the family is adjusting and finding a groove! It will get easier!
Em @ Love A Latte says
I can relate sooo much! I have a five week old and a two-year-old. I know what you mean by wanting to get out of the house, but it’s also very challenging. It’s a lot to balance the two boys. I’m loosely following Moms On Call too. Thanks for being so honest in your update, it was really nice to read. Hope you and your boys have a great day!
Sarah says
Thank you for sharing such an honest account of how you have been feeling! I am pregnant with my second, and my first will be just over 2 when the new baby comes. I’m already stressed out thinking about how that will all work and how I will feel, so it’s great to read something so honest about having a newborn and toddler at home. Your boys are too cute!
Courtney says
Congrats to you, Sarah!
I will say that I was 1000x more stressed/concerned/worried about the transition leading up to it then I was once it happened. Most of that stress was over how Lucas would be and how emotional I was about it. Granted, there are still stressors in the moment these days, but I feel like the anticipation of everything was definitely hard!
Marissa says
I’m glad to hear things are going better! It’s nice to read the ups and downs, though, as I get frustrated when people make it seem like it’s so easy. The newborn days can be so sweet but SO hard – things I try to remind myself whenever I say maybe I want 3. I’m due with my second in about two months and while I’m over being pregnant I’m trying to embrace life with just one almost two year old!
Courtney says
Hahaha right now we say we’re definitely NOT having 3 ;)
Best of luck to you on #2! It’ll be here before you know it!
Fiona @ Get Fit Fiona says
I appreciate your honesty! Being a mom is a tough job, so it’s nice to hear that not everything is always perfect. I’m glad it’s improving for you though.
Rose says
Love your honesty! Seems like you’re doing great. He sure is a cute baby :) Are you headed back to work? Sorry I don’t know if you’ve already talked about this or not! Love the blog as usual.
Courtney says
Thanks so much, Rose! And yes, I will be heading back to work! August 31st is my first day back, and I’ll be working from home part time for now :)
Emily says
I can relate to everything you are going through. I have a 3 year old and a 5 week old. It’s been hard. A huge adjustment. I get envious every morning when my husband heads to work. Hoping things get better at 6 weeks. Yay for sleeping through the night. That’s awesome!
Courtney says
We’ve now made it to 10 weeks and things are definitely getting easier every week – so hang in there, Emily!! Congrats to you!
Lauren @ Oh Hey! I Like That! says
Aww I love reading these updates! You’re doing a fantastic job, Mama, and you’ve got two gorgeous little guys there!
Sara says
Our little guy didn’t like the car at first either. We couldn’t figure it out. And then one day we moved the strap that was between his legs out a little and it made a world of difference. Turns out it was too tight between his legs! Just a thought. Good luck momma, you’re doing great!
Courtney says
This is really interesting – I’m going to have to double check those and hope that it’s the missing link because WHEW these car rides are tough right now!!
Kristina says
I love your positive attitude and honesty! I know you’re probably getting tons of unsolicited mom advice so please feel free to roll your eyes and ignore my comment, but have you thought about trying babywearing with Alex? It sounds like he loves being close to you, and that would free up your hands. Keep it up; they are lucky to have you as a mom!
Courtney says
LOL no eye rolling at all! :)
I do actually have an Ergo that I’ve been wearing more frequently lately and that’s been helpful, especially in the evenings or for when Lucas wants to go outside to play!
Kelly @ the fit Skool says
I am so glad I read this post today. My little boy is 5 weeks old and I felt like I was at my breaking point. having a toddler to occupy with a newborn is such a challenge but I’m happy to know that it gets better and you are all doing well!
My little boy still wakes up every 2- 3 hrs, which has been hard. Do you use a Swaddle blanket or a a Swaddle wrap?? I’m looking for some help in the sleep department :)
Courtney says
Congrats on your new little boy, Kelly!
I tend to use the aden + anais swaddle blankets for naps during the day but I use the SwaddleMe wraps with the velcro for bedtime :)
Julie says
You are amazing! Thanks for keeping it real as usual. I’m so, so happy you talked to your doctor and also that you are working on finding small ways to alleviate some of the stress. Clearly you have a healthy, happy baby, and you know what’s best for him (and your whole family). I hope you know you’re such a role model to all of us soon-to-be-moms-of-two! I’m due in October and am so nervous about the transition, but our older one will still be going to day care. It is such an inspiration to see you ROCKING it with both kids all day! Thanks for sharing the journey–we’re all behind you!
Courtney says
Thanks so much, Julie! Excited for you come October!!!
Amanda says
Thanks for being so honest about the daily struggles with a newborn. I’m going through it too, but I only have one baby. I can’t imagine having a newborn AND a toddler – kiilllll meeeee :) I read something somewhere (can’t remember where) that said “you will always love your child but you may not always like your child.” Amen to that! I love my baby so much but there are definitely days where I just can’t deal and, like you said, just want to run screaming out of the office the second my husband gets home from work. Nice to know I’m not the only one who feels that way :)
Kim says
I have been a loyal reader for years and wanted to say thank you for being so open and honest about motherhood. It is SO refreshing to read the honest and truthful experiences of raising kids. Please keep it up xo
Courtney says
Thank you so much for reading for so long, Kim!!
Marla says
You are doing such an amazing job and one day once the fog clears you will look back and feel so proud of yourself! I have twin boys that are about Lucas’ age and the most challenging times for me were definitely the newborn period and potty training – so I can only imagine the insanity of doing both at the same time! Stir craziness could drive anyone bonkers, too… even a day or two of it now when one of my little guys is sick and we can’t go out and I remember that dark feeling of the walls closing in on me with sooo much time at home. It was really smart of you to come up with the bottle of formula solution, good for you for knowing what’s right for you and your family. I have no advice but just wanted to encourage you and let you know that other moms are rooting for you!
Courtney says
Hahaha, I was questioning myself daily up until recently as to WHY I would wait to potty train until now. Whew!
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Marla. I truly appreciate it.
Brigid says
It’s been many years since I’ve been in your shoes but I can empathize. I’m glad you came to terms with giving Alex a bottle. It really is important to do what’s important for the whole family. Alex will do great! And you will get your groove. All your feelings are normal and you should give yourself a break. It’s important to be able to talk about them as well. Hang in there! You are doing great!
Courtney says
Thanks so much, Brigid!
Emily says
I felt the same way with my first (and only, for now) baby when my husband went back to work. It’s a very hard adjustment. I ended up taking anxiety medication for about 7 months because it got to the point where everything was overwhelming, but thankfully I’ve weaned myself from that and feel better now. Even so, though, there are days where I feel resentment because I’m up night with a sick baby, or trying to juggle being a full-time mom and part-time work-from-home mom. I think we all have those feelings, it is different for dads!
Courtney says
You’re right, it definitely is!
Melissa says
Ah Courtney – thank you so much for this honesty! I can totally relate to the “nothing changed for dad” thing. I actually honestly still feel this way and my “baby” is 16 months old. We’ve had SO much transition in one year, him taking a new job to focus on that I feel like I’ve been left to hold the bag at home with everything. It’s so hard for sure.
AMEN for sharing about the formula. I will SO do this next time. I hated breastfeeding until about 3 months in and I never had enough milk. People told me that low supply was very rare – it’s not! I know so many moms who had it and I should have used formula way earlier. So thanks for sharing honestly about that because there’s nothing wrong with it. Love following your mom of two journey!
Courtney says
Thanks so much, Melissa! And I agree…I felt the same way, like, I thought I was supposed to have enough milk? Why does it seem like I don’t?!? Unfortunately, I’ve just never had a ton and I just try to do what I can with what I have :)
Julie says
You WILL feel 100% again! It’ll be one of these days that you don’t see it coming… Alex will be even easier, & you will have your groove down, & it will hit you: “Hey, I feel like my old self! And I’m rockin’ this mom of 2 thing!” Pinky promise. ;)
Courtney says
Aww, haha, that’s definitely encouraging. Thank you, Julie!!
erin m. says
I don’t have kids but I just wanted to say that I think you’re doing an amazing job. Keep your chin up and breathe. :)
Courtney says
That is so sweet, thank you Erin :)
Fiona says
Aw mama you are doing amazing! I had so many of the same thoughts as you and had the same meltdown at my 6 week check up too ( though I was later diagnosed with PPA/PPD) just know all your feelings are totally normal and valid!! Healthy mama is a healthy baby! I found once I eased up on breastfeeding pressures I was putting on myself and I could have some ‘me time ‘ ..it really made me feel more balanced. Do whatever you need to do to make YOU feel the healthiest…you’re doing awesome and we are all in this together xo
Courtney says
Thanks so much, Fiona. I really appreciate it!
Bethany says
Sounds like you are doing great momma! I think we as women have a hard time giving ourselves grace! I have a 4 month old and I can remember trying to cook my husband breakfast when he was just a couple weeks old and the baby started crying again and I said “I wish you’d shut up”. Right when it came out of my mouth I cried and cried bc I felt so horrible just saying that. I cried about it for days! Now I look back and see was exhausted I was and give myself a bit more grace.
Courtney says
You’re totally right, Bethany! It’s definitely a tough season of life, but we need to take it easy on ourselves :)
Colleen says
oh my gosh, i can totally relate to how your first 5 weeks went. my son is 4 weeks old today and i am completely overwhelmed!! he doesn’t want me to put him down so that makes taking care of our 3 year old really challenging. i wear him a lot but he doesn’t really like the too much either. i am praying that soon he realizes what your Alex did – that it’s ok to be in this world! i haven’t taken both of them out on my own yet. it’s just too much work! i don’t leave the house most days so by the weekend i’m completely stir-crazy! i’m glad to hear things have gotten better for you… and seriously, thank you for being so honest about your experience! it’s nice to know i’m not alone and that what i’m dealing with now is common and probably normal! :)
Rachel J says
Hi! Ok tell me your tricks for sleeping! How did Alex get to sleeping through the night? I have a 7.5 week old who is sleeping 9pm-3am ish and I’m waiting for the next leap in time between bedtime and morning feedings! All of a sudden he went from 9pm to 745pm and no waking until morning?? Where do you deviate from MOC
Julie says
Thanks for sharing your update! It’s good to hear that things are getting easier for you. I also had the feeling that I’m trapped in my own house, but you’ll find time for yourself. Now, that you’re supplementing with formula, it especially makes it easier to leave him with somebody else for a couple of hours.
I started supplementing nearly around the same time like you. My supply wasn’t very high and my son’s appetite was just too much. We found out that the products from Holle worked best for both of my children. It’s European formula, therefore the regulations are much stricter. I found an online shop, where you can even order the products here in the U.S., it’s this one: https://myorganicformula.com/collections/holle-organic-formula
You’re doing awesome, just allow yourself to take some couple of hours off at times, that helped me with staying sane :)
All the best,
Julie
K. says
I haven’t commented before, but thanks for this post. I have an 8-week-old (my first) and started giving him formula once or twice a day when I found that he would eat and eat and eat and still act hungry! He seems to do great with breastfeeding overnight and early in the morning, but over the course of the day it seems like my supply decreases, until around 7pm he’s HUNGRY and I’ve got nothing left. I don’t know why I’ve been guilting myself over this, because several of my “mom friends” have found the same thing. Breastfeeding is hard!
Nikki S. says
I have followed you for some time now and after reading your post from the other day, I decided to go back to this post and re-read it. I now have a 6 week old who has started to show major signs of colic. This is my first week back to work so on top of the emotions running high from leaving my baby, dad has baby during the day and my sweet boy seems to do nothing but cry :( I am going to try those colic drops in hopes they help! I have a question about where Alex slept during those first few months, did you co-sleep at all or by this time was he in his crib at night? I have read so many things giving both pros and cons with co-sleeping and it makes me wonder if he slept in his crib if the night time sleeping/ morning gas struggles (oh those are rough) would be different. As always, I appreciate your honestly when it comes to your posts, especially this one. It helps reassure me that we will get through this and be ok!!!
Nikki S. says
I guess I should clarify that our co-sleeping is just him sleeping in his rock n play next to the bed in our room, not him sleeping in our bed with us!