Well let me tell you something…pregnancy hormones can be a real bitch sometimes.
I guess that could come off a bit harsh to start out today’s post, so here’s a picture of some pretty tulips that my MIL brought over for Easter to help lighten the mood a bit.
But seriously. Over the past week or so, I wind up having these uncontrollable bouts of crying where I literally just can’t stop myself. Usually they only last a minute or two, but last Friday and then again on Monday night…they were doozies.
Monday, I’m pretty sure, stemmed from the fact that Lucas wound up falling off the couch and smacking his head hard on the coffee table while we were playing together.
Thankfully he’s fine, even though he has a nasty looking mark on his head to show for it. But as I was sitting with him, trying to comfort him with a cookie while simultaneously trying (and failing) to get ice on his forehead, I felt the tears working up for feeling guilty that it happened on my watch.
Then after that, Jay and I were just chatting and I made a totally lighthearted/joking comment about me growing rather “large” compared to another pregnant person we know, thanks to my love of donuts these days. He, also jokingly, responded back with something like “well, I doubt she eats as many donuts as you!” and for whatever reason (because any other time, this conversation would be nothing but funny), that threw me over the edge.
I tried hiding myself in the bathroom for a while to wait for the tears to stop, but the damn things just kept on coming! And then from there, it spiraled into my mommy guilt about bringing home a second baby and my fear of how Lucas will react. You guys already know that this has been hard on me, but I’m finding that some days are really tough. And I’m struggling. Like, to the point where I wonder whether or not my reaction to it is even normal. I mean, of course I’m thrilled we’re having another baby(!), so why can’t I just focus on that, as opposed to dwelling on the fear of the unknown? I’m a first child, and I turned out just fine (well, most of the time I think so…), so why am I so concerned about Lucas?
I just don’t know. So I’m blaming it all on the hormones. It makes me feel better to have an excuse for my crazy, occasional crocodile tears.
But thankfully, after Monday night’s 4 hour on/off crying episode (I kid you not, it went on for that long…poor Jay, he didn’t know what to do, haha), I’m happy to report that the hormones seemed to get themselves in check yesterday. I have no doubt that the weeks to come will have more of that, but hey, I’ll just embrace the good days with no tears and maybe I’ll even be able to wear my contacts tomorrow as opposed to having to hide my puffy eyes behind glasses?
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WELL…I guess that got a little long winded, since today’s post was really meant to be more of a lighthearted WIAW sort of deal. But hey, you guys know I like sharing the bad with the good, so there you have it. Now that you know what a complete emotional mess I’ve been this week, how about we awkwardly transition to some WIAW?
I don’t think I’ve done a WIAW post in a while (that could be a lie, I’m too lazy to go back and check), but at any rate…here’s a look at what I ate yesterday (Tuesday). I documented just about everything, and I’ll be honest…this was actually a much “healthier” day of eating for me than what I’ve been enjoying lately. There are usually way more snacks (and sugar…and donuts), but yesterday happened to be a bit better. Hooray, balance!
Pre-Breakfast Snack
You guys know I usually eat breakfast once I get to work, but I was hungry while getting things ready in the morning so I snacked on a couple of leftover PB&J triangles on a sandwich thin that Lucas never ended up eating for his lunch the day before.
Breakfast
Mini Wheats Blueberry Harvest Delights (x3 because I didn’t have a bowl and needed to use a mug) with sliced banana and almond milk + a cookie dough iced coffee (1/2 caf) with skim (a freebie, thanks to my app!)
I bought that cereal randomly when I noticed it was on sale and I had a coupon for it, and it is REALLY good. I’ll totally buy it again. Mostly because I’m just all about cereal right now.
Mid-Morning Snack
A handful of almonds – these are my favorites!
Lunch
A big salad made with all sorts of veggies, some leftover turkey and asparagus from Easter, avocado, dried cranberries, and balsamic vinaigrette.
Mid-Afternoon Snack
A King’s Hawaiian sweet roll (again, another carb I absolutely adore) with a huge scoop of peanut butter. I really could have used a big glass of milk after that one!
Pre-Dinner Snack
Some jelly beans and a few Starbursts out of the Easter baskets (thanks, mom and dad, for still making us baskets!).
Dinner
This Chicken Burrito Skillet (SO good!) topped with some avocado and sour cream.
The skillet was all sorts of cheesy and totally delicious. I’d highly recommend!
Dessert
Hasn’t happened yet (as I type this out on Tuesday evening), but as soon as I get this post scheduled, I’m likely hitting up the fridge for some more leftover strawberry trifle from Easter and/or some more Easter candy. Baby is asking for it, so I obviously can’t deprive him, right? RIGHT!
How about you guys? How’s the week treating you so far? Any good eats lately? Any crazy lady moments you can relate to?
Trisha says
My husband spent the last four months of my pregnancy working in PA while I was back here in WI. When I got struck with overwhelming pregnancy hormones there was nobody here to even try to help me stop the tears. Some nights all I could do was climb into bed & cry myself to sleep because I just couldn’t stop. I would wake up in all puffy-eyed, trying to remember what set me off, but I could almost never recall. So then I’d laugh at myself & a week or so later it would happen again…so yes, I can totally relate. Hang in there, you’re getting so close to meeting this baby! :)
Megan says
I have had the crying moments and sad thoughts lately — but it’s been about my dog, which is so ridiculous! My husband and I bought her when we had just been dating 6 months… 9 years later, it’s just been the 3 of us and now I’m 28 weeks pregnant with twins. I worry about her being neglected lol. I know it’s all hormones, but wow — I had no idea I could have a perfectly stable pregnancy and then fall apart in the third tri. Hang in there, mama! It will be here before we know it:)
Marina @ Snackie Bird says
I wasn`t pregnant but I totally understand that you are talking about. I cry just because I feel sad and lonely, despite the fact what I always have incredible friends near me :D
Linz @ Itz Linz says
Hormones are no joke! It’s that time of the month for me and I’ve been struggling big time. I’m not usually like that, but this week has been rough! Glad Lucas is ok :)
Brynn says
I know it’s odd to say, but I love your honesty in this post. First, you’re hilarious. Second, change is hard, but don’t let fear lead your life. I know in one year I’ll be reading your blog looking at images of your beautiful family and how Lucas and baby are best friends. Have faith and know that you’re not alone in the pregnancy hormone department!
Abby says
You are so not alone in these moments! The world needs more of your honesty to remember that.:)
PLUS- You’re working full time,, being a wife to Jay, taking care of Lucas, grieving your FIL, managing a highly successful blog, growing a HUMAN, and doing all the extras. Your body is probably like “Damn, we gotta recover from this wonderful chaos and tension in the form of tears! Hormones: GO!” I’m a strong believer that the body will react before the mind has a time to catch up. (Thanks again for a wonderful dose of honesty and humor to start my Wednesday. I don’t comment a lot, but you should know your blog is the first blog I look for in the morning :) )
Dietitian Jess says
Sometimes life is overwhelming and its totally okay to just cry it out- I do it all the time. I can’t imagine how much more of a crier I’ll be when I’m pregnant. Glad Lucas is okay- sending you both hugs :)
Kate says
I can relate to your mommy guilt over a second baby! We have a 9 week old, and when he was born my daughter had just turned 1 three weeks prior. She didn’t even understand a baby was coming and we had never spent the night away, so yeah, bringing home baby brother was tough. She would just look at me with tears in her eyes or cry uncontrollably when I held him and not her! I would say it took about 6 weeks though, and she’s pretty well adjusted and gives baby brother kisses and tries to help take care of him. I’ve read that with a couple year age gap like Lucas and your new babe will have, making them a helper, calling the baby “our baby,” etc. will make the transition smoother. So even though I’ve had my share of guilt, the kisses she gives him, and just knowing they’ll grow up best friends makes it all worth it. :)
Em @ Love A Latte says
Gosh I know pregnancy just does crazy stuff to our bodies. I can relate to so much of what you said. I too am expecting another boy and I know it’s just really hard to predict what things will be like and how I’ll balance it all (I’m a full-time working mom too). It will all come together even if it is a bit crazy at first. I’m so glad your little boy is ok. My 19 month old just got a cast on his arm because he fell at the playground (on my watch). He literally fell off a small step and just landed on his arm wrong. I feel so bad because I was right next to him and of course I wish I had prevented it. I definitely shed some tears over that. I hope today is a better day for you and thanks for being so honest in your post. I know so many women can relate :)
Lauren says
Part of the reason I’m almost 31 and still haven’t been brave enough to seriously consider kids is because of the fear of HORMONES out of CONTROL. I am a super emotional person on a day to day basis and during PMS I sometimes feel like a different person. I know pregnancy is so much more intense so I just can’t even imagine…my husband would probably spend most the time hiding somewhere LOL
Anyway, I appreciate your honesty! And about bringing-a-second-baby-home-guilt…I think that’s totally natural but I also hope you are able to give yourself a break on that :) Sure, Lucas is going to probably be a bit confused and jealous at times. BUT he is getting an awesome buddy that he will be so grateful for all his life. :)
Sara says
I wasn’t a Cryer during pregnancy but the week we brought my son home I was constantly sobbing. Too bad men don’t get these hormonal changes to help them understand better! Honestly as a working pregnant mom you’d be weird not to have occasional breakdowns!
Amanda Peterson says
You are so beautiful! I am so excited for you and know that everything will work out with Lucas and his new brother. I vaguely remember my sister being born and I turned out fine too. She actually became one of my best friends! Lucas will always have a built-in friend! :)
Annie says
I am struggling horribly with the same fear and guilt about bringing home another baby in a few months and whether it will make my 2 year old son feel rejected. Someone told me the lyrics to this song…she said it really turned out to be true for her AND for her older son when they brought her younger daughter home. I don’t know why but it made me feel so much better. The song says:
Love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more.
It’s just like a magic penny,
Hold it tight and you won’t have any.
Lend it, spend it, and you’ll have so many
They’ll roll all over the floor.
Sana says
I am just sensitive in general so I totally understand the crying. 2 years ago after eating at Arby’s for lunch my sweet boyfriend casually asked me if I had gained weight. He was hoping to start a conversation about healthy eating habits. All I heard was that “I was fat” needless to say it was a sobbing ride home. However, we had a much better conversation about healthy eating a few days later. And yes we are still dating ;)
Lauren @ The Bikini Experiment says
Hormones are tough even when you aren’t pregnant! Thank you for honesty and telling it like it is.
Parita says
Was just going to say the same thing! I’m not pregnant and don’t have a kid, but I find myself feeling random emotions about the craziest things at time. Thanks for your honest!
Fiona says
Aw I think we as mamas all relate. Your honesty is what we’ve all been through and yet we don’t really talk about it. I remember being pregnant and talking to my husband about his LACK of exercise ..and I said what if you had a heart attack at 35 ..and he said ‘then I’ll die’ and BAM tears flooding…like non stop..his face was like ‘whoooaaa I was kiddin’g but sometimes it’s just things hit you in a different way pregnant. I think worrying about bringing in a second baby to the family is always hard, wanting to make sure each baby has enough attention but just know that you’ve raised an amazing boy and you and Jay are a team that can focus on both of them together….oh and on the falling thing..yah I hear you..my son is 8 months old and when he first learned to roll he could only do it max one time…so putting him on the bed was totally safe….and so I ran to do ONE thing..like gone for 2 minutes MAX..he was in the MIDDLE of the bed and BAM ..he fell off..oh my god, I almost threw up..I cried more then he did …called my husband who reassured me but you feel awful..it’s on your watch but you as a mom have soo much on your plate..it’s hard to sometimes be aware of all the things crazy kids might do..plus you don’t want to keep them in a bubble of safety all the time…so I hear you..that feeling is sooo awful….I still think about it..’what if ‘ he got more hurt…but you can’t blame yourself..accidents happen…and he’s a great little guy that rebounds quickly! Also Wal Mart is a great place to take them with bumps and bruises, it’s a judgement free zone..I took Sully there IMMEDIATELY after it happened for an ‘outing’ lol ….
suanne says
It is such a gift that you are so honest and authentic! Thank you for that…I am glad Lucas is ok…I remember the first time one of my boyz fell and hit his head…I had not been looking and saw that he had fallen (was playing in the tupperware drawer!) and hit his head, his nose was bleeding just a little and I immediately thought he was bleeding from the brain! He was fine thank goodness but the guilt was awful! Things happen to our kids all the time and we cannot prevent everything – though it is hard to accept that when you are in the midst of an injury :(
Lucas will be SO happy to have a playmate….and you will not be able to imagine your life without your little one very soon….the doubts and fear will subside – (and hormones)…just give it time and be patient and gentle with yourself :)
Deanna says
Sucks to hear the pregnancy hormones are in full force right now. I have an 11 month old boy and I hope I can give him a sibling one day! I already can’t imagine him not being my only baby anymore though. But I also can’t imagine him not having a sibling! Can’t win…
You are totally normal. Just no one talks about it! I like to tell it like it is too and now that I have a baby I realize so many of my friends lie lol. The sleep deprivation, no time to yourself, constant laundry ect isn’t easy!
Ask for help, accept help when it’s offered and take a nap or time to yourself. So important.
When I was pregnant me and hubby went to a restaurant and the pregnancy hormones struck and I cried uncontrollably and the manager came over and tried to help but I was so mad? Sad? Angry? that my salad wasn’t what I was expecting. Lol so ridiculous! I was totally fine on the drive home and just started laughing and telling my husband I just could not control it!
Shel@PeachyPalate says
Go easy on yourself missus, your hormones are all over the place at the moment! :) xxx
Brianne says
You are totally normal! I’m weeks away from delivering my 2nd baby and the emotions have been off the charts lately. The entire pregnancy I have felt off and hormonal and emotional. My poor husband is like thank goodness we are done having babies after this one lol. I have had the same feelings as you bc I’m wondering how our daughter is going to be with her new baby sister, I was bummed at 1st bc I would have loved a boy but I am loving the fact that my 3yr old gets to grow up with a sister bc my sister is one of my very best friends! It’s tough but so exciting!! I have been a mess too bc I know this is my last pregnancy so the crying has been happening a lot lately! Hugs to you and any other pregnant mommas it’s tough dealing with the hormones ?
Bethany says
I’m pregnant too (!) and I’ve never been a weepy sort of person. But hello, since getting pregnant, I have been so hormonal!
On Easter Sunday, before church, my husband and I were talking about Easter traditions at our parents house, and I mentioned how this was the first year I didn’t have an Easter basket set out for me with my favorite jelly beans. He replied, sympathetically, “That must be sad for you.” And man, I got big old tears in my eyes. I tried to hide it, but totally lost it. He was confused, of course, as was I.
Hormones are some crazy things! Don’t let them get you down, you are a great mama and wife!
Love your blog.
Mandi Crum says
I can TOTALLY relate to the cRaZy pregnancy hormones. Thank you so much for sharing this! As a woman expecting my first (in July), it’s comforting to read along with you and feel a lot less alone. I too have had bouts of non-stop crying. And there’s nothing to do to make it stop.It’s frustrating, and I feel bad, my poor husband doesn’t know what to do with me. But then as quickly as it begins, suddenly my hormones do a complete 180 and I am over-the-top happy (which I much prefer). What a crazy roller-coaster pregnancy is!
I hope you’re feeling better soon! And thanks again for sharing your feelings with us.
Katy H says
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. I REPEAT, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Pregnancy hormones are REAL. Also, the stress (and guilt) you’re feeling about adding another child to your family is totally normal. I felt the same way when I was pregnant with baby #2. My first is almost 3 and my second is almost 1 now and I promise, it will be okay. There is plenty of love to go around and your first child will not be neglected. The fact that you’re even worried about it shows what a great Mommy you are (because you CARE). Also, you just recently had a devastating death in the family. We had a similar situation when my Mom passed away when I was around 16 weeks pregnant with my second child. I will tell you that the real pain of my Mom dying did not hit hard until after baby number 2 was born. Actually, it was about 6 months after. Once the initial infant craziness was over, I really started to miss my Mom. Not trying to worry you, just letting you know the hormones and such might be done after the baby is born! Regardless, it’s totally okay to feel a mess. You’re not alone haha.
Shanna says
I am sure that everyone who is pregnant with the 2nd child can relate to the guilt. It is horrible but I sat the night before scheduled C-section rocking my first born and crying that I felt so bad he was no longer going to be the only one. But as you will learn and as I try and tell anyone I can having a 2nd “You are bringing home the best gift you can ever give your first child! A best friend, playmate, sibling for them to have for the rest of their life” It is amazing how the guild goes away the second you see your child with its sibling. and it is so much easier with the 3rd :)
Melissa says
I follow a few health/ mama blogs — yours being one of them! — and while I rarely comment, I totally relate to your emotions about adding another baby to the family…and I felt compelled to give a little pep talk since I just went through this myself. Our second baby was born in September and in the months leading up to her birth, I cried on occasion, thinking about how our son wouldn’t be our only baby anymore (he wasn’t even two when she was born) — I think it’s totally normal to have these thoughts. I work part time so on my “stay home” days, I just savored each moment with our son leading up to my due date. Walks, brunch, park, pool, etc. I still savor those moments, but I can honestly say that my son is totally obsessed with his sister — the transition was seamless, to be honest. Our pediatrician (who has four kids) gave us the best advice, saying “by the time he’s two, he won’t remember what life is like without a sibling.” She was 100% right. You’re giving him the best possible gift — a playmate — and now our son asks where the baby is whenever she’s not in his direct line of vision. It’s so fun to watch!
Melissa says
I am so sorry the hormones are getting the best of you. I can totally relate. For much of my pregnancy I felt like a crazy person and my husband also didn’t hold back on telling me so! That was really hard to deal with. I also ate all the donuts and was pretty jealous of other pregnant friends who seemed to be able to control their appetites.
I also totally feel you on Lucas getting hurt on your watch. My daughter has only ever gotten really hurt RIGHT in front of me. I always feel like such a bad mom after that!
Olga G. says
Oh, I can most certainly relate. I just had baby boy #2 almost 8 weeks ago and I had the same hormonal crying/worrying about big brother/guilt, etc. My boys are only 22 months apart — so a little younger than yours will be, and the transition for my first was ROUGH. Well, it was rough for mama too. There were lots of tears from everyone but it’s getting better and easier! Now big brother is constantly concerned about the baby and is always looking out for him. It’s the sweetest thing in the world. Hang in there, mama!
mallory says
I appreciate you sharing your struggles. It makes us all feel a bit more human. I actually had to take two personal days off work Monday and Tuesday because my anxiety from my OCD was so bad. It sucked, I thought I was going to have to quit my job and move back home with my mom. But I know that’s not the answer, and to just keep trudging through until things get better. Which they will! I think. I hope. I’m seeing a great therapist and I’m back on meds, so all I can do is trust that these will work.
Sorry for all that!! I don’t doubt you are going to be a wonderful mom to two beautiful boys, and Lucas will be one happy camper to have a permanent buddy around. He’ll be a great big bro. Hang in there. We ALL have something.
julie @ peanut butter fingers says
Oh Courtney! I wish I could hug you right now! I am so sorry you’ve had some tough days but one thing I kept thinking when I read your post is how the way you’re feeling is such a clear demonstration of the love you have for Lucas. He is so very clearly such a bright spot in your life and from talking with my mom friends of 2+ kids, it sounds like the emotions you’re dealing with related to adding a second child to the family are TOTALLY normal. You will be a great mama to both of your boys and I just know Lucas will continue to feel all of your love even if he has a little brother to share it with! <3
julie @ peanut butter fingers says
Also, I don’t know why but I just had a momentary panic that you didn’t share that you’re expecting a BOY yet on the blog and started seriously sweating!!! Ah! Where is my mind today!?
Jenna @ Crazy HealthyFit says
GIRL! First of all, I hope you have a recipe ebook in the works because you have some really good stuff on this blog! Second, I am glad you have an outlet like this blog to type up your feelings and just let them roll off of your fingertips. I’m sure it helps tremendously. There is nothing wrong with being completely normal. We all experience it and this is something I’m sure every single person reading your post can relate to!
Ellen says
When I was pregnant with my second, someone told me that, yea, your oldest won’t get ALL of your attention anymore, but for whatever they lose, they make it up in the love and adoration this new baby will have for them. My second is 1.5 now and my oldest is 4. My oldest is a full blown big sister now, she has learned how to take care of and be gentle (usually!) and loving to another little human being. It’s been incredible to watch her grow into her role and I’m sure you’ll witness the same with Lucas.
You are obviously an amazing mom and that will no doubt translate into knowing, instinctively, how to juggle the new world of two kids.
GREAT Post!!!!
Melissa says
Awww, hang in there, doll. I have never been pregnant, but I can relate to a tiny comment about my body setting off the hormones, especially having a history of disordered something something ;) I can only imagine how much worse it would be when you’re pregnant! It will all pass in time and you’ll be feeling like yourself again (or as much as you can with 2 little ones!) before you know it. XOXO
Heather Hurt says
I had so many sad (hysterical crying fits and all) moments before my second child was born but let me tell you that at almost two years later, having a second baby was the best thing that every happened to our family! I assure you that it will all be fine! The first couple months were tough, trying to figure out a newborn, balancing my time for the 3 year old and baby, etc. BUT after we figured that out, things have been amazing, amazing, amazing! I promise you, the first time you see your two boys together it will all feel right, promise!! Hang in there!!
Donna says
You are so real and wonderful in so many ways and that is why I read your blog daily. You and EVERYTHING are all going to be just fine! Promise!!!! You are beautiful inside and out Courtney. Always know that.
Heather says
Aw, the hormones during – and after! – pregnancy are no joke! My boys are only 14 mos apart. Towards the end of my pregnancy with my littlest, I had the worst guilt for having another child. I had a planned induction due to hypertension and I had the HARDEST time leaving knowing that I’d be rocking my son’s world when we came home. Then, after we came home, I had about a week of freaking out (internally) every night wondering if we’re doing “this parenting thing” right. Silly, in retrospect, but so, so real and worrisome in the moment. Now, seeing my boys together brings me SUCH joy. My oldest is 2 and youngest is 10 mos. The other night my youngest was cranky waiting on dinner. My oldest took it upon himself to play peek-a-boo with his brother to try to console him. My youngest instantly started nonstop giggling and I started crying because it was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. They’re beginning to build the sweetest bond; it is so, so amazing to watch and live in the shadow of. You’ll get there too, mama! You’re giving Lucas the best gift ever!
Julie says
Ah, love your honesty! Thanks for keeping it real. It’s wonderful to hear that you have such a strong support system and your awesome husband to get you through these tough days.
I’ve had those mom moments where baby gets hurt and we feel SO guilty, but I think the thing that helped me most was when my friends shared stuff that they had “done wrong” too. Like one friend shared that she was chatting with her mom while standing next to her baby’s stroller, and the stroller rolled off the curb and fell over WITH the baby in it! I once stepped in front of my son while he was running (about to pick him up), but he just tripped and smacked his head on the pavement and got a bloody nose. UGH. But kids are so tough, and the burden of a parent is to watch them fall and get back up and know that they will be okay. You are doing such a great job, mama. And with two, you’ll do great, too!
Morgan says
Oh, I totally understand your mommy guilt. It’s rough. I had the SAME EXACT fear for my son when I was pregnant with number 2. They’re 21 months apart, and my son had NO idea what was happening through my whole pregnancy.I cried so many times worry about him. We’d never been apart for more than 2 hours,and even then he was with my husband, so I was so worried how he’d react to my being away for multiple nights and then coming with a new baby.
I had my second son 2 weeks ago, and I can say 100% all of it was for nothing. My son did not care at all that I wasn’t home – I was actually away almost a whole week because my son had jaundice. He loved having some one on one time with my husband and loved coming to visit the hospital. Now that we’re all home, he’s OBSESSED with his little brother. He always wants to be nearby, touching him and talking to him. It’s so hard to imagine it all working out when you’re pregnant and there’s just a little boy who has no idea how his life is going to change, but it will all work out for the best. We do have some moments where my oldest gets frustrated that he can’t be held/sit in my lap/play at that exact second, but it usually goes away with some raisins, ha! I would highly suggest planning a day just for Lucas after the baby comes where he can get out of the house with your hubs and do something fun. My husband took our son to the NY Auto Show last weekend and he loved having time where all the attention was on him, and I was able to relax.
Jennifer says
I only have one kiddo (who is really close to Lucas’ age) and I’m not pregnant but I ALREADY start to freak out about adding another baby into the mix one day. I really believe what you are feeling is totally normal. I’m sure it will take some time to adjust but I have full confidence you will adjust beautifully!
Bethany says
Girl I feel for ya! I just hit 38 weeks preggo and the hormones are raging! I feel like I’ve held it together pretty good up until now, but I am loosing it. I am so anxious to have our little guy! I want to hold him, see him, and know he is okay. I am just starting to get uncomfortable and the comments I’ve been getting at work are a bit crazy. I work with mostly all guys (which normally I prefer) but they suck with pregnant women. Everyday the last week or so I get: “still pregnant huh”, “growing aren’t we”, “you haven’t got that baby out yet”, “getting closer to that due date”, “about time…..fire in the hole”, “wow look at you”……..smiling at these comments is getting harder and harder!!!!!
Also, I have two nephews and my SIL had the same worries, but my nephews loved having a baby brother! Lucas will love him and be so excited!
Alyssa says
This was a great post! I’m 33 weeks with #2 and struggling with many of the same thoughts and emotions. I can’t seem to stop myself from obsessing over leaving my son during the hospital stay, when we’ve never left him overnight before. The guilt about not being able to focus 100% of my love and attention on him once the baby arrives hits me so hard. I’ve had some tearful times when I was so exhausted or sick that I just couldn’t spend time with him and needed to lay down – as a working mom, I feel like our time together is already so limited and I hate “wasting” what little we have. And maybe it will make you feel better to know that we bought a minivan yesterday, today I got so upset over a work email that I backed the van into a car and put a scratch on it. Then scared the hell out of my husband when I called him sobbing saying I crashed the new car, rather than telling him there was a MINOR scratch and no injuries/actual damage. Pregnancy hormones….they are real. Hang in there! I’m also a first child and I’m so grateful for my siblings, it will all work out!
Caroline says
The hormone struggle is real. But even just recognizing that you’re extra sensitive right now will help you extend yourself some grace. You are an amazing mom to Lucas and you will find your groove with your second baby faster than you expect to. It will all make sense the minute you hear that baby cry or see Lucas try to give him a paci for the first time. That bond and feeling of your family being complete is what you’re headed towards – so many blessings in store – although it’s hard to see it in the long, uncomfortable journey that is pregnancy (especially chasing a toddler!). I had my second baby four months ago (kids are 16 months apart) and it was SO hard to reconcile having another baby while my daughter was STILL a baby. But I promise you it will be better than you can imagine. Hang in there and don’t forget to be gracious with yourself! You’ve got it. The best advice I got with having number two was “a peaceful home is a high goal”. The laundry, dishes, etc etc can wait. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do it all. much love!
Kristin says
Hi! Echoing other moms who have said that you are bringing home the best give ever to your little boy. My boys are ages 7, 5 and 2.5 going on 3 (born jus before your Lucas). They are best friends! We really didn’t have any problems with jealousy at all, and I think you won’t either. It is so absolutely wonderful to see, and as they get older they also entertain each other. Let Lucas be your big helper and he will love it!
Sarah @ Sweet Miles says
Oh sweet girl!!!! I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I CAN relate to pregnancy hormones and uncontrollable tears!! I was the same way when I was pregnant, and after I had Adeline I struggled with tears for weeks and weeks! You are an amazing mama, and what you are feeling is so normal! Lucas is so lucky to have you, and he will forever be so grateful for his new sibling! I’ll send prayers your way for peace of mind and comfort :) Keep your head up!
Claire says
Aw I wanna give u a hug! Yes the hormones are real—ugh I’m struggling with my second pregnancy hormones too haha and I’m not nearly as far as u are! You still look amazing and just know God has a plan for your family and it will all work out great in the end! In a year or two Lucas is gunna loooove having a partner in crime ;-) hang in there and know u aren’t alone!!
Angie N says
One of the many reasons I love your blog! You are so honest, real and relatable. My grandson is a couple of weeks younger than Lucas and my daughter just had a baby girl. From the beginning, she let him “help” with her and he is the best big brother ever! When she cries he talks to her and pats her stomach :) He calls her Baby Ana (Her name is Lilliana). I just know Lucas will be the same way! And you will figure out a good balance! Hang in there!
Nikki says
I was that woman that hardly gained any weight during her pregnancy. I had a small bump and had actually lost all the baby weight by the time I was discharged from the hospital a few days later. I must have be the luckiest pregnant woman alive, right? That’s what I would assume from an outside perspective however appearance of a pregnant woman doesn’t tell the whole story. I was very sick my first trimester and lost 10 pounds pretty quickly. I was eating over 3000 calories a day but not gaining weight. I finally started to feel better second trimester and gained 15 pounds. At week 31, I had intense stomach pains and went to the hospital for 3 days while they did tests to see what was wrong. It turns out it was severe constipation. They didn’t let me eat anything for 3 days in case I would need surgery so here I was losing weight in my third trimester. I made up for what I lost but gained no further weight. I gave birth 15 days early with only a 15 pound weight gain to a healthy 7 and a half pound baby boy who is actually 21 months old now. So yes, I was that woman who didn’t look pregnant the day after I gave birth but I would have chosen to gain the 30 plus pounds of weight in a heartbeat to have had an easier pregnancy than I did!
Colleen says
ohmygosh, i am so in the same boat. my son will be three shortly before baby #2 arrives (and will be going to preschool – which will be the first time he will be away from me by himself) and all i can think about is how i am so scared that he’s going to feel that i’m abandoning him. i too am thrilled to be having another baby but i’m just having the hardest time! i don’t understand how i’m going to love this new baby as much as i love my son. big big big hugs to you and know that you are not alone! :)
Courtney says
Thanks so much, Colleen – and the same to you!