I’m terrified. I have no doubt that my world is about to be flipped upside-down once our second bundle of joy arrives. And as much as I’d like to say, “ahhh, I’ve done this before! Piece of cake!” I’m not naïve enough to think that’s going to be the case.
I’m SO excited. For so many reasons. The thought of having another living person that Jay and I created just boggles my mind sometimes!
Even though I’ve always pictured my family with two kids, I never imagined the immense, mixed emotions I’d feel about bringing a second child into our family. Part of me wants to make sure I soak in every second of this pregnancy because it will likely be the last time I’ll get to experience it.
When I think about having to take out my breast pump again, it makes my toes curl. I will undoubtedly want to burn that thing once all is said and done.
But at the same time, the thought of nursing a newborn (hoping that he/she is as easy as Lucas was) brings me so much joy. That bond was so special with Lucas, and I look forward to being able to (hopefully) do it again.
I wonder if it will be at all possible for my boobs to shrink even more after the second baby. Something tells me it’s probably possible, which is a bit of a bummer.
I sit and stare at Lucas daily and wonder what, if any, of his features his brother or sister will have. Will we have another blond hair, dark eyed baby? Will he/she be adventurous, curious, and stubborn just like his/her older brother? Will they be totally similar, or like night and day?
I can’t wait to see how Lucas interacts with his little brother or sister. And on that same note, I’m also incredibly nervous about that, too. “Gentle” isn’t necessarily a word I use to describe my busy, active boy!
Thinking about being able to experience all of the “firsts” with another child makes me giddy. I can’t wait to see his/her first smiles and hear his/her giggles. As exhausting as the newborn stage can be, I’m so ready to experience a little squishy newborn again.
The thought of no longer getting solid sleep for a long time gives me a major case of the sads.
I’m very interested in seeing how Lucas reacts to being a big brother. He loves to help us around the house when we ask, and I’m curious to see how he’ll be if/when we ask him to help with the baby.
I worry about how having two babies will affect a marriage. Don’t get me wrong…we’re solid! But will we ever have time for ourselves?? Will I have enough energy to give to everyone in the family?
I’m nervous about how I’ll be able to manage going back to work with two kids. It’s really not an option for me to not go back, and I really do like working and what I do. But I cannot fathom how I’ll ever manage to get out of the house in one piece in the mornings.
There will be a part of that will be equally happy and equally sad no matter if our second is a boy or a girl. If it’s a boy, I’ll be ecstatic for Lucas to have a brother to play with, but I’ll be sad that I’ll never get to experience having a girl (assuming we stick with only have 2 kids). Vice versa, I’d love to have both a boy and a girl, but I’ll be sad that Lucas won’t have a brother “buddy.”
And for my most honest and profound thought…
There are at least a few days every week where I’ll tear up or cry because I feel such guilt and emotion surrounding the idea that Lucas will no longer get my full, undivided attention. I’ve come to learn that this is not uncommon, after reading so many different articles about the mommy guilt that surrounds your second child. I honestly can’t get through ANY of those articles without ugly crying. Although I KNOW that this is what we want and are thrilled, and I’m sure that Lucas (and us) will absolutely appreciate him having a playmate, I still have a really hard time thinking about how he’s no longer going to be my baby (even though he’ll still always be my baby).
Gahhh, here come the tears again…
I know everyone says your heart will get bigger as your family grows, and I’m sure it will. But even still, I just cannot imagine being able to share the love that I have for my Lucas. He has my whole heart, and I’m still trying to figure out how I’ll share it.
For the moms of more than one out there…how did you adjust to growing your family? Did you have any struggles? Was it emotional for you?