Motherhood is tough. I think we can all agree upon that one, right?
Each age comes with its own trials and tribulations, as well as its little victories.
With Lucas, three was hard.
Four has also had its challenges, but in somewhat of a different way. These challenges have often convinced me that he just likes to purposely drive me insane, I know nothing about parenting, or that maybe I just somehow speak a different language that he just doesn’t understand, so THAT is why he listens to nothing I say.
Who knows.
But then, there are those moments that make you take a step back and breathe in a big sigh of relief because you realize that, deep down, you do actually have an amazing kiddo in there.
Like the brief moment when you’re walking the isles of the grocery store and an elderly gentleman starts coughing; that little kiddo who just spent five minutes arguing you with you in the isle before about getting more cereal proceeds to walk up to that gentleman and ever so kindly asks him if he’s okay.
Or the time you’re leaving the doctor’s office for the 800th time this year, and a woman comes walking down the hallway with a walker; that little kiddo who just threw a fit because he couldn’t have the cell phone to watch YouTube videos on the car ride home proceeds to glance at you with a concerned look and then goes right up to that woman, ask her what happened, and if she needs any help.
Ugh. My heart.
Empathy is not something that is easy to teach, but it is something that I have tried SO hard to focus on with my boys. Because, above all, kindness is everything. And the fact that, even though there are many days where the majority of his actions might say otherwise, it appears that he really is listening. And we must be doing something right.
So I share this with you today, not to try and toot my own horn (because I’m certainly no better than you or the next mama, and we’ve had our fair share of timeouts this week), but to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. And to look for those little moments. Most nights, I go to bed thinking that I could have done something better as mom. I could have been more patient, I should have talked more about xyz…”should have” and “could have” are all pretty commonplace in my evening roundup of thoughts.
But today, and for the days to come, I’m choosing (or at least trying) to focus on the little moments, because it’s all too easy to get caught up in the tough ones. So like, right now, when Lucas was put to bed an hour ago, has been out of bed three times, and apparently just does not want to go to sleep…I’m going to focus on the fact that the last time I was summoned to his room, it was so he could sing me a sweet song.
I mean, I totally know it’s a total stall tactic, but he won’t want to be singing me songs forever. <3
heather @Lunging Through Life says
Oh I hear ya on the end of the night questioning. I do it myself but then I think to the moments when my daughter says please. Or when she shares. Or when she says “thanks mom for cooking dinner.” and those moments are what make me realize I am doing something right, too.
Kelli Rudolph says
Thank you for this post today. Lucas and my daughter are very close in age and boy sometimes do I wonder what I am doing wrong. There are days when … well, let’s be honest, and I’m her mother so I can say it … she can be flat out rude. The back talking and arguing literally makes me crazy!! But, then she does the sweetest things and I can hope that underneath that battle of emotions and boundary testing of an almost 5 year old is the sweet, little girl I am trying to raise. I needed this reminder today!
Marielle says
Awww I love this. It’s so easy to get caught up in the temper tantrums but those sweet moments are so special!!! I have a 3 year old and an almost 2 year old, so we are in the peak of crying and fighting…haha, but I always try to remind myself it’s just a phase!
Allison says
This post made me smile so big. :)
Shashaqueefa says
Ohh my gosh my heart! 😍😍😍
Michelle says
My children are grown and gone. I can remember those days that you are writing about. It is all part of growing up and you are doing a great job. So many children are not taught to be kind to others and that is very sad in this day and age.
The mere fact that you think about how you could have handled things shows you are a great MOM. Your children are very fortunate that you care so much.
Beth says
Such a sweet read, Courtney. Sounds like you are most certainly doing something right :)
DONNA says
WOW, WOW and more WOW!!!!!!!! This post was short, INTENSE and beautiful. You have raised an amazing little boy Courtney. The things you mentioned that he did, no words…..just WOW. You should be very proud of yourself and of course him. I am sure Alex will be the same. Sending you a big hug!
Heather @ fit mama real food says
This is so sweet and such a great reminder for me as a mom too. I also get going with that evening roundup of should haves, but try so dang hard to bring my mind to the good of the day – because there are so many parts! I love the sweet empathetic souls kids show to remind of us of their incredible good in them <3
Jamie says
This made me so happy! Glad you are able to step back and see it all! You and Jay are doing a great job!
Julie says
What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. <3
Ellen Denizard says
3 is the worst, 4 is hard, 5 is so much better and now that we are almost 6 its great! And you are right its best to step back and look at all the great moments because they add up . The tough ones are the ones full of big emotions and tears and thats why they last longer in our minds, the good ones can pass unnoticed. You are doing a great job!
Mary Burns says
Thanks for this post! I’m going through so many of the same things right now with my 4 year old and it’s always nice to have a reminder to take a look at the things that are going right (little as they may seem at the time).
Shashaqueefa says
Agree with you on the threes! My neighbors kid once threw a water balloon at me and got me all soaked before date night with my man so i threw one back! But it ended up being a Swiss ball and he fell into the hedges! Some kids gotta have raspact!
Mallory Thomas says
who is this shashaqueefa? she makes me laugh every time! court, do you know?
Courtney says
LOL I do not, but her comments almost always make me chuckle…so thank you, Shashaqueefa!
Fiona MacDonald says
ohh I so needed this today, after a tough weekend of bad colds and baaad behaviour, it is so true, the small moments make it so worth while, like right after refusing to walk beside the stroller all of a sudden a little hand meets mine and we are walking hand in hand down the street….:) Thank you for the reminder.
Meika says
This is exactly what I needed to hear, and may be my favorite blog post I’ve ever read. Thank you!