These past few days of 2015 have been tough.
When I look back on this year and reflect, I see heartbreak, but I also see a lot of good. We experienced more than one loss (three, in fact, with my 2 Nana’s, our miscarriage, and then most recently, my father in law, Tom) and each one still hurts in its own way. But as time passes, things do get a little easier, although one is still quite raw.
Today and tomorrow are going to be awful, and they are two days that I am most certainly not looking forward to. But we have each other to lean on, we have the love and support of so many of our friends and family, including all of you (which, honestly, I cannot even begin to thank you all enough), and we also have this little spitfire who has been an absolute lifesaver.
Life with a toddler is always interesting. Some days you’re ready to rip your hair out, while still wanting to love on them every single second. Other days, you just keep staring at them in amazement thinking, ‘how did we get so lucky?’ Thankfully for us, these past few days have been the latter.
Whether or not kiddos have a sixth sense, I do not know. But what I do know is that he has been exactly what we need, and has had us laughing and smiling as much as we possibly can this past week.
When I had to work from home on Monday, he was even my little assistant with his laptop. He wants to do everything just like mommy and daddy these days.
Including workouts. Which reminds me, I need to find some fake weights for him, since he keeps thinking he can take my 5 and 8-pounders.
While this past week has been tough, it’s also given the three of us more time together than we’ve had in a very long time. In the weeks and months leading up to my father in law’s passing, there were many nights each week where we really didn’t see much of each other. And that’s ok, because everyone went exactly where they needed to be. But our extra time as a family of three has not been taken for granted this week.
And not only our time as a family of three, but our time with the rest of our family and friends, too. My parents have been such an incredible help with being able to take Lucas when we’ve needed these past few weeks, and have been there for us with whatever we need. Our close friends have been checking in often, and we even had our friends (and old roommates) Kanika, Shaheen, and their daughter Kaura stop by Monday evening with a full dinner for all of us.
These two are just the cutest together.
I started writing this post not really knowing where it would take me, and I’m sure it probably doesn’t totally make sense, but I’m too preoccupied to go back and proofread. I guess as I come to a close though, I’m seeing more and more about just how fortunate we are to have the things that we DO have in our lives right now. It’s easy to focus on the negative, especially in these next couple of days, but taking the time to look at all of the positive really does help lessen the grieving just a bit.
At this point, I think I’m ready to put 2015 behind us and I’m looking forward to see what 2016 has to bring. I’ve recently felt a bit more driven this year than in years past to really sit and focus on the goals I have for myself and for our family, but once we’re able to finally take the time to lay them all out, I look forward to sharing them with you all.
As always, I want to thank all of you, my amazing readers, for your continued love and support. Not only in times of grief like now, but throughout the entire year. I wish you all a fabulous New Year, and hope you all have amazing things planned for 2016.
We’ll chat soon. <3