A good workout and a great lunch are in the books for today!
Mid-morning, I headed down to the basement for a little cardio. Yesterday’s workout included 30 minutes of walking + 20 minutes of yoga, so I had actually planned on doing a bit of strength training today; but when it came down to it, I just wasn’t in the mood for the weights.
So I hopped on the treadmill and worked up a sweat with about 40 minutes of interval walking. Nothing crazy, but it did the trick. My legs are still unbelievably sore from Sunday’s workout so I’m taking it easy…who knew two sets of a simple leg circuit would would kick my butt so badly??
A little while later, it was fooooood time.
I was all over the place for lunch. First I wanted a PB and banana sandwich, then I wanted a pumpkin yogurt bowl. But I eventually ended up with a bowl of leftovers from last night.
“Mashed” cauliflower (or something like that), chicken, corn, and some added fresh spinach that I wilted quick in the microwave. The whole bowl didn’t totally wow me, but it was filling and nutritious, so I suppose I’ll take it.
I ate my lunch just out of arms reach from our Halloween candy bowl (currently filled with pretzel and plain M&M’s) and, surprisingly enough, managed to refrain.
And, actually, that whole scenario leads me to my next order of business…an update on my Hypothalamic Amenorrhea.
In case you’re a newer reader and/or have no idea what I’m talking about, here are a few quick updates…
- Back in July, I shared my new diagnosis. I was sad, mad, and frustrated, but hopeful that I’d start to feel better about things.
- In August, I gave you all an update on my exercise routine with HA, and also shared that my body had shown signs of making progress. At that time, I felt comfortable enough with slightly increasing the intensity of some of my workouts and began incorporating some more weight training.
- In September, I went out and made the decision to purchase some new jeans that actually fit. Even though they were 1-2 sizes larger, it still felt soooo much better wearing something that fit, rather than squeezing into my old ones.
Lately, I’ve had many of you asking how I’m doing/where I’m at/why I’m all of a sudden running…so I figured now would be as good a time as any for an update. Honestly, I have so many feelings about everything right now that I feel like I could write a book. But I promise I’ll try my best to just stick with the facts and keep the rambling to a minimum.
So first things first…how am I doing?
Well, let’s just go ahead and continue with the honesty theme…I am doing pretty BLAH. Last month, I was feeling fairly good about things – I wouldn’t say I was comfortable with where I was at, but I was able to accept it. This month? I just feel like crap, and most of that falls on my shoulders.
For one, when I began this journey to try and regain my health, I told myself I was going to do it the healthy way (i.e., more healthy fats and whole foods, etc.). I started out pretty good with this, and slowly started putting on weight. It was an adjustment, and it was hard, but I knew it was for the better.
Then, somewhere along the way, I apparently decided to swap healthy fats for nightly dishes of this…
and treats like this…
and a whole lot of this…
Suddenly, I developed a “heyyy, whatever! I need to gain weight so I’m gonna eat and drink whatever I want” attitude. Because I consumed so much of it, I was now craving carbs, sweets, and even beer like it was nobody’s business. And let me tell ya, it worked…in the sense that I am now up about 15 pounds.
Talk about an eye opener…
This is where I feel like I could go on forever so I’m gonna try to keep things simple. Am I upset about the weight gain? Yes. I’m at a weight that I haven’t seen since my early years in high school. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t even recognize myself.
I know I needed to do it, and I’m okay with that because there are more important things that I want in life right now; but what I am upset about is the fact that I started going about it all the wrong way. I threw caution to the wind and started indulging in things like I haven’t done in ages. Now, not only has my weight gone up, but it’s left me feeling sluggish, less energetic, and just sort of BLAH. This was not how I had set out to do this.
So why am I running all of a sudden if I’m still dealing with HA?
The good news is that my body has responded to the weight gain (don’t make me get into more details – you should allll know what I’m talkin’ about!) which I am thrilled about. That being said, with the whole running thing…I have not decided to start incorporating running back into my exercise routine on a regular basis.
The running I did a couple of weeks back was done mostly out of frustration more than anything else. I had received some bittersweet but devastating news and this wound up being one way for me to deal with it. The good thing that came out of all of that was that I discovered that my body is capable of doing things I wasn’t sure it’d be capable of, and I’ve been working hard to find the positive from all of that. Thankfully, I am healthy and still making progress so I’ll just leave it at that.
So basically, where am I at now?
Well, right now I’m not feeling so hot about myself, but that’s okay because I sort of dug my own grave with this one. Over the weekend I had a few emotional moments and really sat down to look at the whole picture. I feel like I’m now on the upswing and have made the decision to really buckle down and make some healthier choices…not only to prevent my waistline from growing out of control, but also for my overall health (FYI: you will most likely gain weight by gorging on ice cream and excess carbs everyday, but it is not going to leave you feeling great. Trust me!).
This does NOT mean I’m “dieting” or trying to lose the weight…it just means I’m making a concerted effort to stick with healthy choices, keep the extra treats to a minimum (I’m not nixing them all together…that’d be crazy talk), and feel better about my overall health.
Yeah, I’m ready to feel like him.